Caught Red Handed
by Redbubblegum
Summary: When she was 7 she was cold and detached from everyone,  When she was 13 she was extroverted and charming,  When she was 14 she was silent,  And now she just wants to play a game with an old friend.  Crap summary
1. Chapter 1

Red hid behind the tree as she watched countless students streaming out of the gates of To-Ho University, they all seemed pretty normal. She pulled out her phone.

"Matt, are you there?" Whispered Red

"Noooo!" Came a voice so loud she had to move the phone away from her ear.

"Matt? What's going on?"

" Sorry, I just died."

"Look shut up about your stupid game just for one second."

"It's not stupid!"

"Shut it," Red tried to keep her voice down, "look are you sure I'm in the right place?"

"I'm Definite" Matt replied, "L's definitely there, trust me."

Red hung up. This was getting depressing she'd been behind this god damn tree for twenty minutes and nothing, just regular Japanese students.

She was getting ready to leave when she saw a tall, very slim young man with black hair and dark eyes, wearing blue jean pants and a long-sleeved, white shirt. L.

Trying extremely hard not to start jumping into the air shouting, she pulled out her phone yet again.

"Matt."

"What?"

"Mission accomplished."

"Congratulations" came a voice with no enthusiasm

"Ok, I'm sorry your game's not stupid."

"Whatever"

"Screw you; I'm trying to be nice here."

"And failing epically"

"Miss Jones, It's a pleasure meeting you."

"The pleasure is all mine sir." Red hated being polite; it was so tedious.

The office was well-lit and the walls were taken up by many paintings.

*Seriously did this guy rob an art museum or something?*

" So you're from England?" The man said flicking through her file, the file Matt made.

"Ye-" she didn't get to finish.

"Your grades are phenomenal; you'd be a great asset to To-Ho."

" Does that mean I'm in?"

"well.."

*Jesus Christ dude! Answer me!*

"Miss Lolita Jones, you are no a student a To-Ho."

He shook Red's hand.

"Thank you."

Red Turned and left the room, after an hour of sitting on a very uncomfortable chair.


	2. Chapter 2The one with the cliche ending

Note: In this chapter Red is 13 and L is 14

_30__th__ October 11pm_

_Wammy's House was silent, well it was late and past curfew, what did I expect? I knocked on a door with the plaque with 'L' written on it._

"_L, it's me" I whispered, no answer. I pressed my face against the door. "L open up, I know you're not sleeping, let me in!"_

_The door swung open and I fell face first into L's room. It was a nice room; lucky bastard had his own room while everyone else had to share. The walls were painted white and the floor was wooden, a bed was tucked away in an alcove. A large window that looked over the countryside took up nearly a whole wall._

"_What, do you want Red?" L asked. I looked up at him, he looked irritated, but he held out his hand to help me up, I took it and pulled myself to my feet. _

"_Let me in and I'll tell you."_

"_The doors open so go in and tell me."_

"_ok then, L"_

_L waited for me to skip happily through the door before shutting it, I thought he'd slam it in my face. I sat on his bed and he crouched next to me. He didn't even sit normal back then. I began to explain my epic plan of awesomeness. _

_L looked at me in disbelief, "So you barged in here in the middle of the night, while I was sleeping to tell me that on my birthday which is also Halloween, you were going to drag me around Winchester trick or treating?" _

" _You weren't sleeping, you never sleep." I laughed, " even if you were sleeping it wouldn't get rid of the bags under your eyes."_

"_Get out Red." L pointed at the door_

"_Fine but meet me at the gates tomorrow at five so we can beat everyone to the sweet sugary bliss that awaits, Kay?"_

"_Sure" L muttered picking up a book that he must have been reading before I'd arrived. I slipped out the room and began wondering down the halls smiling, wondering what I was going to dress up as and thinking of all the sugary goodness. _

_31__st__ October 5:15 pm_

_I leant against the gates waiting for L, in my ingenious costume. I was a Bunny/school girl and it was a very good costume considering I only pulled it together that morning. Boredom hit me like a ton of very bored bricks. L was sure taking his sweet time. By Five thirty I was fuming, where the hell was he, the instructions I gave were simple enough. I began to wonder if I defiantly said five not six or something._

_By five forty-five I stopped and began searching the house so when I found L I could shout at him for being late, but he was nowhere, he'd disappeared and no one knew where the hell he was so I did something I would regret for about a year or two; I went to Roger's office._

"_I'm sorry red I don't know where he is, L left with Watari this morning."_

_I slammed my fist onto the desk. "Roger you son of a bitch! Tell me where L is" I bellowed_

" _Red, I will not answer you if you speak to me like that"_

_That set me off; I began to smash every think in that room, the desk, bookshelves, vases, chairs and windows. I knew the consequences of my actions though and I took my punishment like a man and kicked Roger the whole time as he tried to drag me to my room. I heard the lock click and I was alone. The bricks of boredom hit once more so I turned on my TV , The news was on I watched, I needed to get information on the outside world, only God knows when I'd be able to leave my room. The reporter was droning on about the arrest of some murderer, I turned away uninterested until I heard it. L, she'd heard L's name, now the news reporter had my full attention, he'd solved it in under six hours, well that's what the reporter said anyway. That was when it hit me L would probably forget me, working on cases and becoming a detective and I couldn't handle that, being abandoned was bad enough, so I promised myself that I'd L and I'd make him remember me._

_I stood in the centre of my room ,that I shared with Margret until she mysteriously fell down the stairs and was now in hospital, I thrust my hand into the hair and shouted_

"_Je ne pourrai jamais être oublié " Cliché I know, but I felt very dramatic at the time and French seemed more appropriate than Russian, Japanese, Spanish, German, Portuguese, Latin would have been good but I had not yet mastered the language since practically no one spoke it._

**Note:**

**God it sucks so bad.**


	3. avezvous jamais embrassé personne?

_"So then I thought I was going explode but then the giant tarantula got caught in the pyroclastic flow of Yellowstone Park's super volcano and I finally," Red stopped and bit her lip. " Hey L, have you ever kissed anyone?"_

_L's widened in surprise, one minute she was talking about volcanoes and tarantulas and then out of nowhere she started asking personal questions. He decided to Ignore her and began eating one of the many cupcakes covered in butter icing with strawberries on top, that were on his plate. Maybe if he just ignored her she'd change the subject. _

_Red Laughed, "L don't ignore me, I know you definitely heard what I said yeux de Panda" He hated being called that so much and she knew it. "yeux de Panda, hey, yeux de Panda!"_

_L mumbled something under his breath and turned his attention back to Red. "Red, please go back to telling me about your dream, it was most interesting" He lied_

_Red swallowed her mouthful of sugary tea, "So it's a no then?" _

_"I said no such thing."_

_Red got to her feet and pulled on her jacket. "If you're not going to tell me Panda Eyes we're leaving!" Grabbing L's hand she dragged him out into the snow covered streets of Winchester._

_L started to shiver he hadn't anticipated that amount of snow to fall while they were having lunch so he'd decided against bringing a coat. Red looked at him her honey colored eyes shining in the cold sun._

" _So, you gonna answer?" _

_"Why do you want to know?" he asked. _

_"Look L, I consider you my Best friend, Ok? And Best friends have no secrets at all."_

"_None?"_

"_None" Red Put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "You hear that L? None not even a tiny little secret is allowed." She stamped her foot but the pavement was slippery, she fell forwards pushing L down onto the pavement and their lips crashed together in an awkward and definitely unintentional kiss._

_It was Red's eyes widened when she realized what she had done and she quickly jerked away from L breaking the kiss. _

"_Oh my God I'm so sorry." Red whispered pulling a couple of blonde strands of hair from her mouth._

_It took L a while to put his next sentence together, "We should get up Watari will be here soon."_

…

"Hey are you ok?"

_What happened? _L opened his eyes to see a girl with Red hair holding her hand out to him. Her hair was tied with hair band with plastic strawberries on, her eyes were the colour of honey and she wore black skinny jeans and a t-shirt that read 'I had gone searching for the truth, and found cookies instead.'. L took her hand and pulled himself up. He remembered now, Watari had dropped him of outside To-Oh university and this girl smashed into him.

" I'm fine thanks"

The girl sighed in relief, "thank God, I thought I killed you or something."

L raised his eyebrows "you thought you killed me? Seriously?"

The girl pouted and tuned away walking through To-Oh's gates. She Reminded L of Red. Not in appearance for one thing Red was blonde and their dress style was different, the Red he knew always wore loose and baggy clothing, but she had a Red like air about her. The girl Turned round And looked at L. "By the way I'm Lolita Jones!" She Shouted "Nice to meetcha Panda!" …... it sucks like hell. God kill me now. 


	4. So sweet it's intoxicating

A fist slammed down on the desk; the loud bang woke Red from her stupor.

"Miss Jones pay attention or leave!"

She looked up at the teacher/professor/Sensei that she'd christened Young Roger or YR, because he reminded her of Roger and was young(ish.)

"Mogu li ya imet' nekotoroe tort syeichas?"

"Miss Jones, speak in Japanese please."

"Why?" She asked flicking pencil lead across her desk. "I'm English."

By now most of the class was looking at her, including L. She wasn't bothered though she couldn't remember how to feel embarrassed. _You forget allot things when you spend a year in solitude silence. _Which she had when she was fourteen she'd spent near enough a year where she talked to no-one , she just drew, played the violin, piano and various instruments she'd mastered and she wrote a novel in five different languages. People where surprised that she could even remember to talk, but she could the first words that were heard from her on New Years Eve, her birthday, were 'well that was a year wasted.' And after all that she seemed to return to the Red before L had left, the fact was however many times she told herself she would be remembered, she still felt abandoned worthless and forgotten, the only difference post L was she had Matt and Mello to pull into her crazy schemes.

"Miss Jones, here at To-Ho University the students come here to learn and you're disrupting their learning."

Red Laughed at this, "Technically, you're disrupting everyone Sir/teacher/Professor because if you left me there daydreaming no one would've noticed and got on with their lives."

Young Roger was turning red rapidly and his fist was clenched. Red stood up and made her way to the door trying to suppress laughter.

"Jones where are you going?"

"I'm leaving like you told me to." Red replied smirking, "I feel like an early lunch of cake and skittles. I am Lolita Jones alors attention ou vous allez le regretter"

And she left leaving Young Roger grinding his teeth.

…

"What was up with her?" Light muttered under his breath, "I mean she was acting like a kid. What do you think Ryuga?"

L sat there thinking about Lolita Jones, she seemed extremely familiar, but L couldn't remember ever meeting anyone called Lolita until that morning when she knocked him to the ground and called him 'panda' a name he hadn't heard in a good few years.

. L continued to rack his brain for any recollection of meeting this girl before.

"Ryuga?"

"What?" L turned to Light.

"Don't you think she was acting like a kid?"

"Yes, she was childlike wasn't she?," L murmured still unable to remember.

Being Childish wasn't a bad thing though he was childish and he was fine. She was like him in many ways it was obvious she liked to win, well who doesn't. She wasn't going to do as the Teacher said that would be classed as losing in her eyes so she left using his own words against him.

People stared as Red put three slices of shortcake, a cup of tea and a chocolate cupcake onto an empty table, once she was seated she removed five packets of skittles from her bag, six macaroons, twenty packets of sugar and packet of fruit gums. Red then poured all the sugar into her tea and stirred until it was more of a paste consistency then took a sip.

She had only finished her cupcake when she heard the woman say, "I'm sorry I'm afraid we don't have any short cake."

The raven haired youth looked more depressed than usual if that was even possible and began to walk away with that Yagami kid that smiled so much it was obviously fake or he was just really happy all the time, but that was just to creepy even for Red to think about it gave her Goosebumps to think of someone that freaking happy.

As she watched L walk off looking all sad and panda like, she felt a strange feeling that she had never felt, considering the consequences leading up to this unknown feeling she deduced it just might have been guilt, she was probably feeling guilty for buying practically every bit of sugar, when she knew L was in the same building.

In order to shake this horrible feeling Red was going to do the right thing.

"Hey Panda Come over Here!"

L reluctantly went over to her light following. He wouldn't usually go over to a random stranger that called out 'Panda' but there was something about Lolita that compelled him to, namely curiosity.

His eyes widened when he saw the spread of sugary treats on the table.

"Panda you can have some if you like I probably won't eat all of the shortcake." She held the plate out to him, "Go on, I heard you asking for some." L took the plate. "You can sit with me if you want I don't think there are any more free tables."

"Thank you that's a kind offer we must accept." L said trying to be as polite as he could he didn't want to offend her especially since she had given him cake.

Light and L sat opposite Red as she took a bottle of chocolate syrup from her bag and drizzled some over a macaroon before eating.

The look on light's face was one of pure disgust, how could anyone handle that much sugar?

"Do you want some?" Red smiled holding out a macaroon and the sauce, "I have strawberry if you'd prefer."

"No thanks" Light said, trying his best not to feel nauseous while watching L sample the swept.

"That's very good.." L mumbled licking the sauce from his fingers.

"I know right?"

"How can you eat that?" Light asked the fake smile nowhere to be seen.

"It's easy you put it in your mouth and chew until it's in small enough pieces to swallow without choking."

Light wasn't amused by this but Red smiled at her own statement.

"I'm sorry but I've got to go class starts soon and I don't want to be late."

"And I must leave too."

"Ok then bye Light bye Panda!"


	5. Cakes, Crossdressers and Cars

For the next week Red, L and Light continued to eat lunch together, sharing sweets laughing when Light nearly vomited when he saw Red swallow twenty sugar cubes in a row then washing it down with golden syrup. It was fun for all the family.

Anyway it was late Saturday or it could have been early Sunday and Red was bored so she had resorted to playing Pokemon with Matt on that wifi thing. It was fun but after her Level 90 Blaiziken being 1 hit KOed by Matt's Gengar ten times it was getting boring so she turned off her DS and went to kitchen to get some cake.

"Fuck My life." She whined slamming the cupboard closed she'd been so busy pretending to learn and taking all her sweets for lunch she'd forgotten to go shopping, so now there wasn't even a pack of skittles. Red checked the clock; it was 2 in the morning but she knew the Hotel's café was open all night so there was no real problem.

The café was dimly lit but not in a 'you can't afford to pay the electricity bills' kind of dim it was more pleasant.

There was only two people in the café, one was the tired looking guy nearly falling asleep at the counter and the other was L sitting knees pulled into his chest eating a selection of cakes.

Red smiled and took the seat opposite him.

"Hi Panda , I didn't know you were staying here."

L looked up from his plate of cakes. "I'm only staying her for a day or two."

_Liar_ Red ordered a slice of cheese cake. She'd been to every hotel L had been and she'd figured out that the nicer the sweets and cakes the longer he would stay in that hotel, because this hotel had the best cakes in the area she had estimated he would stay there for one to two weeks.

"So panda, are you doing anything this afternoon?"

L looked up once again after selecting a small cake with pink icing and cream in the middle then eating it leaving some cream on his upper lip.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you."

"I asked if you were doing anything this afternoon."

L began biting on his thumb deep in thought. Technically he was free he was free every day he just kept himself occupied with cases, and there was the Kira case, but everyone had demanded they have weekends off, none f them were that much help but if they were going to slack off so was he.

"I guess I have nothing to do." He mumbled

"Good because the bakery café thing I go to ,to get all my sweets is having a special event and giving out free cakes."

"That sounds enjoyable." L said mesmerized by a piece of shortcake with a strawberry on top. (lol).

Red sat there staring at the cream on his upper lip, but he hadn't noticed her because now he was eating another cake with more cream on it. L's cream moustache was now too much for her, she burst into laughter.

L looked at her confused. "I fail to see why the current situation is funny." L's eyes widened as she lunged at him pushing his chair backwards, so he was now lying on the floor with Lolita on his stomach. "L-Lolita what are you doing?"

She grabbed a napkin and wiped his face. "You had cream and icing on your face, Panda it was annoying me."

*.*.*.*.*.*

Smiling Red dragged L out of the doors, "come on Panda the event finishes at four"

"You do realize it's only eleven in the morning."

"Of course I do but the cakes might run out."

"There's only a five percent chance of that happening."

"Shut up."

Red stopped and ran her hands over her Ferrari that was of course red.

"Isn't she a beauty?"

"It's a car not a she."

"Don't listen to him." Red whispered. "OK let's Go!"

L regretted his choosing to sit in his normal position (Knees pulled into the chest) for this journey. Red's driving skills were not something to be desired, she had only just avoided crashing into a music shop and then began shouting at some guy in the car next to her for scratching her car still driving at ninety miles per hour.

When they had arrived at the café / bakery thing L was stopped.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't let you in."

"Why is that?"

"You're a guy and to get free cake and to take part in the event you must be female."

"That's total Bullshit." Red Sighed "Come on Panda lets go home."

*.*.*

L sat in the chair wondering how his life had turned to this.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course it is. I don't think you need eyeliner."

He couldn't believe he was letting Lolita turn him into a girl for some cake. L sat there as Red applied lip-gloss and tried to make his hair look a feminine as possible with some hair straightners and extensions, and so far he could only say he looked like an emo panda with lipgloss.

Red returned from rummaging in her wardrobe carrying a pair of skinny jeans and black hoodie with bunny ears.

"Don't forget to put this on," She threw a bra at him "and shove some tissue down it."

He just looked at her. "What's wrong Panda? Would you like a dress instead?"

L shot her an evil look and made his way to the bathroom to get changed. When he returned he saw Lolita wearing his shirt over her own.

"Damn I did a good job if I was lesbian or a guy I would go out with you." She then noticed L looking at his stolen shirt, she looked at it too. "Hey what size are you panda?"

"Why?"

"Curiosity." She smiled "So what is it?"

"I'll tell you If you tell me why you have clothes this large. "L gestured to himself now wearing the hoodie and jeans "When it's obvious that your no larger than a size 8?"

"They are disguises silly."

"Can you take off my shirt now?"

"lol imagine if someone was listening the other side of the door and no"

"Why?"

"You haven't told me what size you are, I'm curious so tell me."

"Curiosity killed the cat." L sighed

"Good job I'm not a cat, now tell me panda"

"No."

"Okaay I just won't take it off. let's go get some cake."

"Why don't you check the label?"

"It's all faded."

L just looked at Red and could honestly say he was genuinely confused by her.

"You're not wearing socks" Red pointed out.

"I don't like socks."

"Cool let's go panda!"

"Maybe I should drive?"

"Why?"

"You can't drive and I honestly don't think you should have a licence."

"Fine just don't scratch her ok. Oh and before you start driving you have to compliment her or she might set on fire like most red Ferraris do. "

"I am not complimenting a car."

"Fine if she blows up I'm holding you responsible."

….

"You fucking hypocrite, you can't drive any better than me!" Red yelled after L had scraped her car along a brick wall in order to avoid a flower stall leaving a large scratch. "You've never driven a day in your bloody life!"

This was true, but the thought of that driving a car would be this difficult never crossed his mind. He's seen Watari drive and it didn't look complicated, just press down on the pedal, change the gear every few minutes and steer.

"Panda look a speed camera!" Great now there would be evidence of L, world's greatest detective, not being able to drive and speeding, but luckily only about six other people knew he was L. "Shit, I'm going to get fined!" Red wailed.

Parking was no easy feat, in the process they had set off five car alarms not including the Ferrari's. Red shot L an evil look as she ran her hands over the dented body work of her car. After L apologized they walked a couple of blocks to the bakery.

"Remember act female."

"OK"

" oh and in this relationship I'm the guy."

"I'm sorry?"

Red handed L the flier. " While you were changing I started to read it and I found out you have to be female and gay to get free cake."

"Great." L muttered.

"So call me honey when you talk to me, also try and make your voice more feminine or you'll have to do it the hard way." L looked at her in a way that said_ and that is? _"Me kicking you in the balls."

…..

"Weren't you the girl who tried to get in with that guy earlier?"

"Fuck you she doesn't know about him." L growled pointing at L.

"You're cheating on your girlfriend?"

"Shut up you faggot she doesn't know about him."

L was listening to the conversation and thought it appropriate to step in now.

"Who's 'him'?" L asked sounding surprisingly feminine. "What aren't you telling me Honey?"

"Nothing, Natalya you know we have no secrets,"

"Um Ok then, can we have cake now Loli?"

Red tried to stop laughing as she looked the guy at the door in the eye. They were pulling it off and L was acting so much like a girl. "Yes, if this guy let's us in."

….

L's eye's widened when he saw the menu there had to be to least three hundred different options and he was practically beaming when he saw their order arrive; a chocolate muffin each that was free, two cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows and a three tier Victoria sponge with strawberry jam and butter cream in the middle, coated with royal icing and strawberries but unfortunately due to the size they had to pay for that one.

L was interrupted from admiring the beauty of the cake by Red.

"Shit."

"What?"

"I spilt hot chocolate down your shirt."

"Then take it off."

"Is it just me or are you trying to make me wear as little as possible?"

"What would you say if I said no?"

"I'd say you were a pervert."

"Good job it's only you then."

"I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or offended." Red mumbled taking of L's stained shirt and hung it over the back of her chair and began to devour the cake before her.

After much work the cake was gone and Red and L were left feeling full. A girl walked past and winked at L before sitting back with her girlfriend.

"Did she just do that?" Red asked.

"If you mean winking at me, yes."

"It's on."

L just looked at Red "What?"

"She can't flirt with my girlfriend and expect to get away with it."

"You do remember that I am in fact not female or your partner."

"Yeah but I don't want to blow our cover." With that Red picked up the shirt walked over to the girl.

"Can I help you?" The girl said, her voice reminded her of Janice from friends.

"Were you just flirting with my girlfriend."

"Yes."

"Hooker."

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh right a hooker implies you do it for money, you're just a brainless slapper who needs to save the winking for her clients who always go home disappointed."

The girl stood up. "Oh yeah!"

"You know, you remind me of Janice from friends except too gay to function."

"You…You.. Bitch"

"Call me what you like sweetheart, I can guarantee I've been called worse. Come on Natalya we're leaving" L followed her out the door.

"Was that really appropriate?" L asked turning onto the street in which they had parked the car.

"Yes" Red stopped and began screaming "OMFG my car!" Her whole car was on fire. "It's your fault for not complimenting her! Awww crap I had doughnuts in the glove compartment!"

…..

Watari found it hard not to smile, L was sitting in his normal position in front of his laptop, as soon as he arrived back at the hotel after walking two miles (he'd left his mobile in his jeans which were in red's room) he continued with work all night and didn't go to To-oh in order to catch up on the work he missed the previous day and He was still dressed as a girl when , Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi walked in.

"Who are you? Wait… L? What are you wearing?" Matsuda laughed.

"Shut up matsuda and do something constructive."

"I'm sorry I can't t-take you seriously with that on, wait do you have breasts?"

L pulled the extensions out of his hair. "Matsuda."

"Why would you do this?"

"For very important reasons that you wouldn't understand."

"HI Panda!" L turned to the open door and saw Red wearing his now clean shirt. "I came over to give you your clothes back."

"Thank you." L took his jeans back. "Can I have my shirt back now?

"No, not until I get what I want." She smiled "Just tell me and you can have it back."

"I don't really care so you can keep it."

"That's no fun." Red grumbled crossing her arms. "Next time panda don't go home in my clothes."

"Do you want them back?"

"No they suit you panda, just remember stay away from lesbians with that on."

"Thank you for that useful advice."

"Am I the only one who sees all these innuendoes?"

"Shut up matsuda"

"Sorry"

"So Panda I've decided not to hold you responsible for the death of my car as long as you replace the doughnuts, learn how to drive so if we are ever in that situation again my car will not look like it was brutally attacked by a bear and pay the sppeding ticket because it was you who was speeding not me."

"See you tomorrow at college if you decide to come. BTW I have cake tomorrow."

Then she left. The Task force were just standing there trying to understand what went on.

Light broke the silence "You can't drive?"

"Apparently not."

…..

**Sorry it was kind of bad…**

**But on the bright side it's my longest chapter yet with over 2000 words, if only I could write that much in my English essays…**


	6. The Matt Method

Red looked at the monitor with the black L motif on the screen. She knew he could hear her breathing. She knew he could see her. All the other residents of Whammy's had left and Roger had not yet turned off the laptop. Red sat on her knees so her eyes were level with the webcam.

"You're right L," She whispered "Lying monsters are the worst; you were perfectly right about them. Too bad you missed out one important detail: It's hard to tell if the person next to you is one and if they are they hide it so well. Don't you think? I honestly don't see why these kids want to be like you, you're alone, friendless, a lying monster and of course an emotionless bastard who has no regard for others feelings. These kids are fighting to be like you when being you is the worst thing that you could ever be."

L sat their in his dark room listening to this, watching the tears in Red's eyes form and slide down her cheeks.

"If I turned out to be like you I'd most probably want to shoot myself." Red got to her feet and took the laptop in her hands. "By the way I set your room on fire." She threw the laptop to the floor and jumped on it for good measure; she then walked out of the room.

….

"I'm such an idiot why did I do that?" Red said her face buried in her pillow.

Matt shrugged "Therapy"

Red Looked up "I'm sorry?"

"You need therapy or something like that."

"Why would I need therapy?"

"To sort out your emotional problems"

"Ok fine I need therapy but where will I find a therapist?"

"You're looking right at one."

"Don't you need qualifications for that?"

"Probably but how hard can it be?"

Red lay on her bed, Matt sitting next to her with a clipboard.

" This is weird." Red mumbled

"Do you want your problems sorted?"

"Yes."

"Then shut up and let me think." Red nodded.

"You don't know what you're doing do you?"

"shut up." Matt grumbled "I have a question,"

"Fire away"

"Why are you so angry at L?"

"Um well he left without telling me after he'd promised to go trick or treating with me."

"Is that it?"

"No, trick or treating was just so I could get him out of the house so he wouldn't see his cake when it arrived and I couldn't give him his gift that was amazing."

"So you felt abandoned" Matt wrote 'Abandoned' on his clipboard

"Yep."

"So if you're angry at him why are you upset that you said some really bitchy things to him?"

"I don't want to hate him, I just want to be friend again and hang out like we used to."

"Then go see him"

"But every time I try like earlier I get really angry and start saying stuff like that. It's like as long as I'm Red I can't get past what he did to me."

"Then," Matt smiled "Don't be Red"

"I'm sorry?"

"Be someone different."

"I can't be someone else I'm Red and I can't change how I act I've tried."

"Then just look different."

"Yeah but number one he probably hates me and two he's the world's gratest detective I think he'll notice it's just me with a different hairstyle."

"Then Die."

"I'm sorry?"

"Fake your death get the hell out of here and track down L have fun and find out if he hates you, then reveal your true identity."

"Matt that is so idiotic it's genius!" Red laughed sitting up.

"That is the Matt method."

Red hugged him "Thank you so much, but I'm not going to die yet. I need L to work on a big case so it'd be easier to track him down"

"Clever."

"Don't patronize me." Red broke away from the hug.

"I'm sorry"

"But you're not are you?"

"Not really."

Red snatched matt's goggles of his head and put them on. "Wow everything looks weird." Red laughed

"Hey give them back" Matt made a grab for them but Red dodged then he wrapped his arms around her so she couldn't move.

"No fair! That's cheating"

"How?"

"It just is." Red grumbled struggling to get out of Matt's grip. Matt pulled the goggles from her head and was about to leave the room when Red jumped on his back laughing "They will be mine Matt, they will!"

"You're crazy" Matt laughed trying to shake Red off his back, then had an idea he fell backwards crushing Red in-between him and the floor.

"OK you win" Red groaned "Now get off."

"Hey Red do you have any of that chocolate I li- "Mello asked walking into the room "What the fuck just happened?"

"Therapy" Red groaned massaging her rib cage. "And I'm not doing it again


	7. Red before  redness

However much her mother tried Selene had always refused to join her in the living room as long as they _were_ there. Most Children would lap up the fame she had but to be honest she hated it. Selene hated it with a burning passion almost as much as she hated her mother. She seemed to think her daughter's love could be bought but she was so wrong; Selene had no use for the toys, jewelry and clothes her mother thrust upon her.

"Selene, come down now they want to talk to you."

Selene looked up from her book, 'The hound of the Baskervilles' it was by far her favorite Sherlock Holmes novel. "If I come down what will I get?" She asked folding over the corner of her page.

"I'll get you that dress I saw-" Her mother was interrupted.

"WRONG!" Selene shouted slamming her book closed "I get nothing; a child should not be bribed to obey her mother."

"So are you coming down?"

"Don't ask me, tell me to come down, you are the bloody parent you need authority or the child will walk right over you."

Selene's Mother looked at her daughter confused, why would any child let alone one of the age of seven not want what she was offering, all her daughter wanted was to be scolded for everything she did. "Selene" She said shakily.

"Yes mother?"

"I want you to come downstairs now."

"No it should be _you are coming downstairs with me now_ but I'll let it slide." Selene mumbled as she got out of bed and followed her mother downstairs.

A man with silver framed glasses sat on the plush settee, his choice in clothing was rather dull, a tan suit with a white shirt. He smiled at Selene, hand outstretched trying to shake hands with her.

"Hello you must be Selene, has anyone told you that you look like the spitting image of your mother."

"No they haven't mainly because I avoid conversations with acquaintances of my mother and I really don't want to shake hands with you." Selene smiled; she enjoyed it when the journalists looked confused. "So why are you here? It's not that I want you to go but I don't want you to stay either, I have a book to finish."

"It's an article on your mother's life after she retired from her modeling career so of course we have to interview her daughter."

Selene ignored this and turned to her mother "Why didn't you scold me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I was rude to this man and to let me get away with it. Discipline in this house is appalling."

After this Selene answered all of the journalist's questions honestly. The final question was the one she hated most.

"So do you want to become a model like your Mum?"

She looked at the man for a second before formulating an appropriate response. "No, modeling is just a career for all those women who instead of working hard to get good exam results were applying bucket loads of make-up and being involved with at least two men at a time. I would also like to say that I have a higher I.Q than every model so I will not become dress up doll." Then she left and returned to her room.

_Two years later_

Selene looked from her mother's limp body to the bloody knife in her father's hand. She brought it on herself, hell if someone was cheating on her she'd be angry but murder went a little to far. Her father fell to his knees crying realizing he was responsible for his wife's death.

" Selene…" He breathed,

"Yes what is it?" Her father was surprised at how level her voice was, there was no trace of emotion.

"Why aren't you upset?"

"I hated the woman, it's unfortunate that her death came now," Red said simply, still her voice was emotionless. " because her estate is at the value where the benefactors must pay insurance tax. If you were going to kill her I would've gradually took money from her account transferring it into my own."

"Is that what you care about? Money? It doesn't by happiness Selene!"

"But neither does poverty."

He watched his nine year old daughter light a match and drop it on her mother's body, slowly setting her on fire.

"What are you doing!"

"Oh I see you don't want to get away, I'll just call the police now shall I?"

"Yes," Her father muttered "I need to be punished for what I've done."

"Fine, well goodbye Dad it's been fun and all but I don't want to be taken downtown when the cops arrive, kay?" Selene Laughed and walked out of the room.

Her father was amazed he had never heard his daughter laugh or seen her smile like that. Selene looked at the house behind her _good riddance_ she smiled before making her way out of the old world and into the new, casting away every thing that stopped her being her. She didn't want to be Selene Julia Scarlett Taylor daughter of a model; she didn't want to be linked to anyone from her old life so she cast away her name.

**I know it's crappy but I felt like there needed to be a bit about Red before whammy's and what about the ending that sucked, oh well….**


	8. Dinner with Takeda

**Hiiii! It's the next chapter XD**

**About the last chapter : you guys were probably like 'wtf that was Red?', You are probably thinking ' _Redbubblegum you have no idea what your own character is like she keeps changing!' _But It'll all make sense if you keep reading this really long note. **

**I got the idea for Red in an English class a while back so I drew her, named her but she kind of had no personality to speak of. Later that day in psychology and sociology we were talking about various mental disorders and it kind of spiraled to where Red is now. I aimed to make her a bipolar girl with extreme intelligence who is emotionally unstable and slightly egotistical and crap like that, because I've always enjoyed writing about characters that are a bit weird in the head (crazy I know). **

**So enjoy the story I hope this note hasn't ruined your day. My English teacher sure has ruined mine, he said for our weekly creative writing homework pieces I've got to stop writing about Calamity my serial killer based on beyond birthday because he said he's worried about me. I mean wtf just because Calamity's messed up doesn't mean I am and now I don't know what to do for my homework. : (**

**Ok enjoy the story!**

…**.**

Red groaned and fell back on to her bet creasing about twenty different dresses. _It's just so frustrating _she thought, _My wardrobe has every article of clothing I would ever need apart from anything formal and female. _She cursed Takeda's name before restarting her search. Takeda didn't even like her, so why did she invite her along? When she found something moderately acceptable- a fifties style dress with halter neck in red – she pulled it on and found some heeled shoes that she'd purchased three years ago when she went to that weird club thing where she woke up in some random guys house and swore she would never drink vodka again.

Walking as carefully as she could Red made her way down the stairs but she was never that careful, so of course she slipped and started sliding down the stairs on her back.

"Dude get out of the way!" She screeched knocking down some random dude with black hair and one of those suit jacket things also known to normal people as blazers. "Panda? Why are you wearing a suit jacket thingy?"

L looked at her, "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"I'm going to dinner with Takeda and Light…" Red Mumbled "But I'm just going because apparently they have good deserts at the restaurant…"

"It seems that I'll be dining with you too."

Red smiled "Yay, It's going to be better now that you're coming"

After finally arriving at the restaurant and getting seated Red decided to break the awkward silence.

"So Light how long have you been gay?" Red asked rocking in her chair.

"I'm not gay!" Light began to shout making the couple on the next table next to them.

"Oh I thought you were because your name implies it."

"How does my name imply I'm gay?"

"If you spell it backwards in English it spells _Im a gay_ so I kind of jumped to the conclusion…."

Takeda looked at red "Stop being so childish it's embarrassing,"

"How am I being Childish Kiyomi? Are you angry I called your boyfriend gay?"

"Stop rocking on your chair, did your parents teach you any manners?"

"No, I don't really remember them that much they're dead." Red smiled

"How?"

"I don't know how my mum died…" Red lied,she really didn't want to shout to the world 'my dad stabbed my mum and I set her on fire' and anyway that was Selene no Red or Lolita so she wasn't really hiding anything or lying for that matter Lolita and Red's parents had died. Red's parents had been killed in a house fire, (well that's what she told Watari and Roger) "But my Dad was killed by a lava lamp."

Light looked at her "Did you say lava lamp?"

"Yep, he was getting angry because the lava lamp wouldn't heat up so while heating up the lava lamp on his kitchen stove the lamp exploded and a shard pierced his heart."

"Are you joking?" Light started to laugh when he saw L mouthing 'up 5% light-kun' and decided to shut up.

"Why would I joke about my father's death?" Red muttered looking at the bottle of wine that had just arrived. Red picked it up and looked at the bottle for a second, pulled out the cork and sniffed the red liquid. "Who chose this?"

"I did" Takada said forcing a smile, she regretted inviting her along but she hoped she would be a distraction for Ryuga, she didn't even want him there but Light had insisted. " I chose the wine."

"It's poorly suited to the meal you ordered for us, you ordered a dish with chicken a white meat, Red wine compliments red meat like lamb or beef."

"How did you know I ordered for you?"

"Panda and I were twenty minutes late, if after ten minutes and no order has been made you're asked to leave the restaurant so you ordered for us."

"How did you know it was chicken?"

"After briefly analyzing the menu the cheapest dished are the chicken ones, no normal woman would order something expensive for two people she obviously dislikes .But you didn't want to look rude so you ordered it for Light and yourself as well"

"It's not that.."

"or are you just cheap Takeda?" Red asked "If money is a problem I'll pay, order as much as you like, I don't care about the price."

"I'm not cheap" Takeda was trying to keep her smile but was fighting a losing battle.

"There's no need to be embarrassed that you can't afford much, it's just how it is but luckily you have me to help out."

"Shut up"

"That's not nice Taki-chan,"

"Fine if you paying I want this whole page of the menu."

"Ok Takeda if you'll stop being grumpy."

"You can afford all that?" Light asked.

"Of course that's less than my weekly sweet budget"

L looked at red "How much is your weekly sweet budget?" He was curious.

"Um about the same as a brand new Ferrari."

"You have that much money?" Light was amazed who would have thought Lolita Jones was rich.

"Yeah, I could buy this place get sued multiple times and there would be no real difference in my finances." Red looked at the clock "Crap is that the time I have to go." She dropped a large wad of notes on the table. "This should cover Takeda's order."

…

Now she thought about it Red realized how much she'd changed. Her old morals in the trash, look at her the girl who hated the thought of having everything was now living in a world where she had all the money he would ever need, like a young, pretty and female bill gates, and the funny thing was she didn't care.

…**..**

**Wasn't that crappy?**

**Oh well, **

**Fun fact:**

**I've been updating a lot lately because loads of my teachers are ill and there are no substitute teachers for like half the lessons so I just get out my laptop out and start writing. Don't you wish you went to a school like mine? **


	9. Punishment

**Extreme : ( my teachers are back… so It's taken me a bit longer to write this chapter because now I get all the homework we missed, joy oh joy…. So that means I now get extra Finances HW, maths HW and Psychology yay….. **

**=0=0=0=0=**

Red looked up from the paper she'd been hastily scribbling down the total cost of life that month $200,000 it was less than usual.

"Hello Takeda, how's the morning treating you?" There was no reply " Did you enjoy your meal last night?" Still no reply "Takeda are you feeling ill or something you're ever so quiet, I knew I shouldn't have let you order that much."

"Shut up Jones" Takeda hissed

"Ah, so you're just in a bad mood today."

"I said shut up."

"Taki that's not like you at all you're usually so polite, graceful, calm and stuff like that or is that just a façade to hide who you truly are?"

"I knew you were an idiot, I'm only like this when you're around because you're an idiot."

Red put her paper in her bag and got to her feet so her eyes were level with Takeda's. "Poor deluded Taki-chan if only you knew. I got a rather good score on my entrance exam."

"You couldn't have you came to To-oh after the exams."

"I still had to take it silly," Red laughed "What did you think I bought my way into this place?"

"…"

"That is priceless, anyway I was disappointed with your score Taki, only 91%."

"What did you get then?"

"100% apparently." Red looked at her watch "Wow is that the time? Well I've got to go get a cup of coffee before class."

Red turned and walked towards the gates. To most people she came across really narcissistic but if she was it wasn't intentional. Takeda wanted to hurt her, show her that she couldn't be made fun of. Takeda snatched and apple from a guy walking pass and threw it towards Red's head, Red didn't even need to turn round to catch it.

"Nice try Taki but if you want to hurt me you've got to be faster than that."

Takeda lost it. "What's wrong with you, why do you think you're better than everyone else, throwing money away just to prove you have it, why are you such a fucking whore!"

People stared as Red's fists clenched so much the apple was reduced to nothing more than pulp. "What wrong Lolita can't you take it?" Red turned around and slowly walked back to Takeda.

"Takeda I'd advise you to stop before I feel the urge to rip your throat out."

"Yes you're so scary; I'm trembling in my boots." Takeda slapped Red leaving a mark the same color as her hair on her cheek.

"Fuck you Takeda" Red growled punching her in the stomach. In retaliation Takeda lunged at Red pushing her to the floor.

"I thought you were going to rip my throat out, but I guess I'll just hurt you instead"

"Bite me." Red snarled kneeing Takeda in the stomach give her the chance to get to her feet. Before Takeda could recover from being winded Red sat on her back like L, Takeda stifled a scream as Red grabbed her arm and started twisting it.

"Lolita stop it now!"

"No, you're getting what you deserve."

"You whore!"

Red narrowed her eyes "Well that's not nice Taki, I think you need to be punished more for that." Then Red spat in Takeda's short hair. She could hear the spectators mutter things like 'disgusting,' and 'that's just gross' but she didn't care if Takeda was going to slap her she was going to be punished.

"What the Hell!" Shouted Light pushing through the crowd, "Takeda are you ok? Ryuga help me get Lolita off her!"

L pushed through the crowd and looked at the scene for a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around Red's waist and pulled her off a crying Takeda.

"Panda get off of me!" Red screamed _writhing trying to break free__of L's grip._

_"I can't allow you to hurt Miss Takeda," L then got hit in the face by Red's flailing arms "Lolita calm down or I'll kick you."_

After a few minutes Red fell still, exhausted. "I need cake," She mumbled before passing out.

**=0=0=0=0=0**

"You'll be staying here until Miss Takeda decides whether she'll press charges and take this to court." Red sighed and walked into the cell and sat on the bed.

_Everyone's overreacting she's not that hurt, I mean I broke her arm but that's it at least I didn't actually bite her. _

She sat there for a few minutes before she took of her trainers and pulled out sticks of different color chalk from them and started drawing on the floor. She just needed to use up a few hours.

"That's very good."

Red looked up from the forest scene she drew, (it took up most of the floor) to see the face of a smiling old man. "Watari what are you doing here?" Red asked putting back on her shoes.

""I've come to let you out."

"You mean I can go?"Watari nodded and opened the cell door, Red ran out smiling puling Watari into a hug. She looked confused when he handed her a plane ticket. "What's this for?"

"It's a ticked back to England."

"I don't understand…"

"I'll explain on the way to the airport."

Red sat in the back seat watching the world pass by. "Watari can you tell me why I need to go home."

"Yes, now after I discovered your plan, we set two conditions didn't we."

"Yes but I haven't told anyone he's L or put him in any danger so I should be allowed to remain in Japan."

"May I remind you that your car set on fire?"

"Look if you just taught L to drive…"

"It's not about you putting L in danger"

"Yay"

"L has arrested the second Kira and has placed her under surveillance as well as a possible Kira suspect."

"You mean Light Yagami don't you? "

"Yes, so there is no way you'll have any contact him for some time,"

"Let me guess L would want to be sure whether they were innocent or guilty so he'd keep them for a minimum of one month and most probably a maximum of three, before the members of that taskforce start going on about human rights. Wait Watari all my stuff it's in the hotel room!"

"Don't worry I have everything under control Red, I will keep all items belonging to you here until you return."

"Even all my clothes in the wardrobes?" Watari was silent "You didn't pick up my clothes did you?"

"Red, in all the years I've known you, you have never used a wardrobe much to my annoyance." Watari said "so I didn't check."

"Oh well I can just buy more I guess…"

"We've arrived; I'll call you when you can return."

Red got out of the car and waved until it'd turned the corner. She checked her ticket then walked into the airport. She was going home.

**0=0=0=0**

**Crappy chapter I know but meh I don't care.**

**XD **


	10. Slight Turbulence

**Hello : ) it's the next chapter yay, it's been a while because I need to revise for my Money Management GCSE, but it's ok now because I'm uploading this piece of crap.**

**0-0-0-0**

The plane was crowded and Red was stuck next to a kid who wouldn't turn her Ipod down so all she could hear was the chattering of people and some crappy song going on about love and crap like that. Red was in the process of mentally stabbing the girl until a air hostess came up to her.

"Excuse me, you need to put your seatbelt on we're about to depart."

Red looked at her for a second before saying "No thank you, I'll be fine without it."

"No really you need to put it on now."

"No I said I was fine."

"It doesn't matter you need it to be on."

"I said no." The air hostess grabbed the seatbelt and tried to click it into place. "Don't touch me!" Red then flipped out and started scratching the woman's face until she backed off crying.

"You're crazy."

"You attacked me!" Red shouted

0-0-0-0

Watari sighed as he took a seat next to Red. (he had to accompany her to make sure she didn't brutally attack anyone else for eleven hours.) Trust her to pull a stunt like that.

"Hey Watari, what's up?" Red smiled.

"Red are you proud of what you've done?" _Crap_ Red mentally face palmed, _He's going to do the disappointed talk. _Even though it had been about ten years she still remembered the talk, and it was the most painful thing in the world even more painful that the talk where your parents talk about hormones and sex. "You do realize what you've done don't you?"

"Yes I know because of me you're going to take two eleven hour plane journeys." Red mumbled. The truth in the matter was this hurt more than it would if Watari was shouting at her.

"Not only that, L will be left with Matsuda and if I remember correctly there is only one slice of cake left."

Red sat there as the guilt consumed her, she'd caused L to be left with that idiot Matsuda and the worst part without cake, she might as well have killed her raven haired friend.

"I'm sorry Watari…"

"It's not me you should be apologizing to and I needed to pick up L's inheritance anyway."

Red's head turned so fast it was a surprise she didn't get whiplash. "You mean he hasn't got it yet? I died three months ago for god's sake"

"I was waiting for a time to pick it up, I didn't want it to be posted incase anyone else should get their hands on it."

"Yeah that make sense" Red fell silent as the air hostess caught her eye and rushed over to the other side of the plane. "You better run because if you come near me again I'm going to...um… Look my cake is here!"

0-0-0-0

**: ( I know it was short and crappy but oh well. This chapter was actually based on something that happened to me when I was seven, the flight attendant tried to strap me in and I was already scared of planes and I thought this woman was trying to molest me so I freaked out and started clawing at her and hitting her with my book and my Mum and I were kicked off the plane XD I was happy but my mum didn't speak to me for a week. LOL.**

**I'll update soon: ) **


	11. A trip down memory lane

**Hiii it's the next chapter. Sorry it's been awhile but I've been busy. **

**Oh and by the way my friend is writing a harry potter fanfic and I think it's good so the link/url thingy is in this note **

**.?chapterid=468779**

**Warning this chapter sucks**

**0=0=0=0**

L turned to look as the door as Watari walked in with a large box. He was no other word for what L felt; he was pissed (not in the drunk way the angry way). Watari had just Left him with Matsuda, Matsuda for god's sake! L often wondered how that idiot had a job in the police force; he was an incompetent fool, just earlier that morning L had sent him to get a strawberry cheesecake and he returned with a blackcurrant one.

"Watari"

"Yes Ryuzaki?"

"Where have you been for the last two days? In your absence I had to use Matsuda as a substitute, needless to say it was not a resounding success."

"I resent that!" Matsuda grumbled.

"Shut up Matsuda, I'm still angry with you." L hissed glaring at the cheesecake, he wanted it but he was waiting for Matsuda to apologize for his mistake and get him another. He wouldn't give in to the sugary temptress

"I was retrieving the contents of Miss Red's will." Watari said calmly gesturing to the box that he'd placed beside him.

L looked at the box then to the screen showing Misa and Light in captivity, then the box then the screen, this was repeated several times until Aizawa walked into the room. "Aizawa watch Light and Amane, I'm very busy at the moment" L said getting out of his chair and made his way over to the box and pulled it to the settee and opened it. Everyone was surprised at this even Watari; it was unusual for L to put anything to do with his personal life before a case however distant. "Please excuse me for a short while." L began removing objects from the box.

L smiled as he looked through the countless sketches she'd drawn, no photos were allowed at Whammy's House but they might as well have been because Red's drawings were extremely accurate. In total there were one hundred and forty five sketches and on the back of every sheet there was a recollection of the events that had happened the day Red drew them. L stopped at one drawing in particular, it was the lake near Whammy's, He and red had spent most of their last summer together there. He turned the paper over and began reading the writing on the back.

_June 21st _

_Major Events for today:_

_I built a rope swing;_

_I had cake;_

_I fell into a lake; and_

_I nearly died._

_Today I was bored out of my mind so I convinced L to come to that lake near the house. I've now realized it was not the best idea considering the day's events. _

_L just sat and did nothing for most of the day (lazy shit) while I did something constructive, I built a rope swing out of a branch and a piece of rope. I was about to try it when L looked at me and asked if I knew how to swim, I said yes but I failed to mention I couldn't apply what I knew to a real life situation mainly because I didn't think there would be any water related issues (even though the swing was pretty much directly above the water). So after a lunch of Watari's Devil's food cake (A rich, chocolate layer cake with chocolate frosting. The cake is made with chocolate, not cocoa; the chocolate has a much higher fat content and thus provides more richness. This is what distinguishes a devil's food cake from a regular chocolate cake, which is typically made with cocoa powder; some recipes also contain light brown sugar) I decided to test out my swing with quite undesirable results. The rope snapped and I plunged into the water and sunk like a stone. I honestly thought I was going to drown but luckily one out of the two people in a mile radius could swim. I kind of blacked out at this point but I can guess what happened. I woke up on the grass and L was crouching over me, I was surprised he could actually pull me out of the water._

"_you said you could swim" He frowned at me._

"_I said I knew how to not I could, silly panda." I laughed, L was not amused._

L remembered that day vividly because much like most memories with Red included a near death experience. L continued rooting through the box until he found something that piqued his _interest__, a rectangular box wrapped in shiny paper. L looked at the tag taped onto it and it said 'L' so he guessed he could open it. He tore open the box like a kid on Christmas and Styrofoam peanuts fell over the floor leaving a violin in L's hands, Red started been teaching him to play when he was twelve and he didn't want to brag but he was better than most, but he could never compare to his teacher . He stared at the violin in his hands it wasn't the usual honey colored wood it was white with ornate black swirls creeping over it. _

_Matsuda looked at Watari. "Who is his friend that died?"_

_"It's not my place to tell you" _

_L looked up quickly. "I'll tell him, Watari it doesn't matter she's dead it doesn't matter."_

_"Are you sure Ryuzaki?"_

_"If it'll shut Matsuda up I'__ll tell him" Matsuda squealed fangirlishly._

_"Yay story time!"_

_L shot him a look and began "Red and I attended the same … institution. We became friends due to our mutual love for sweets but I left and began my quest for justice and now she's dead."_

_Matsuda gasped "how?"_

_"She was killed by a man called David Taylor, he confessed to stabbing her then burning her body like he did to his wife about fourteen years ago, he'd only just been released for that."_

_"I know about that!" Matsuda exclaimed "He killed the retired model Valerie Goodman then their daughter Selene disappeared."__ Matsuda grabbed his laptop and went on Google images "I wonder if she's as pretty at her mother?"_

_"Matsuda.." L groaned._

_"OMG!" Matsuda squealed louder this time._

_"Matsuda!" Aizawa shouted_

_"Sorry… but look at this!"_

_The photo was of a girl in the snow kissing a raven haired boy with bags under his eyes. L was shocked, how could it have happened? The strret was empty and there was no way a camera could zoom that far! Right? Wrong obviously considering the evidence in front of him._

_Matsuda tried to high-five L "Cool L scored a models daughter!" L's eyes widened and he fought to stop himself blushing because that would be very un-L like. Matsuda was right! The great L was beaten by Matsuda. He hung his head in shame._

_"If you excuse me I need to get some cake." L hastily made his retreat to the hotel's café. _

_**0=0=0=0**_

_**Told you it sucked.**_


	12. Tears

**Hey I'm finally updating : ) yayyyy, sucky chapter but who cares right. **

**This chapter is mainly a flash back. How craaaaaaaaaap**

**Oh well try to enjoy.**

"_Hey Panda, what you doing?" L looked up and saw Red perched on a branch, she wasn't wearing a jacket which was rather stupid considering it was still snowing._

"_Roger and Watari want you to come back inside and so do I,"_

"_Why's that grande fratello?" Red asked smiling as she jumped from the tree. L practically flinched when she said 'fratello' he hated it when she called him brother every time he was concerned for her well being._

"_You'll catch a cold or the flu."_

"_Don't be stupid __deartháir." L flinched again, "So anyways... you didn't answer my question from earlier." Red linked arms with him and made her way back to the house._

_L frowned at her not sure whether she was joking, " I think you know the answer to that question..." he mumbled._

"_Ah so it's a no? Ok then there's no reason to feel ashamed I haven't kissed anyone either."_

_L was seriously_ _doubting Red's sanity. "Did you some how get amnesia when we both fell to the floor." Red gave him a confused look, "We fell in the snow about four hours ago and we.." _

_Red smiled widely " Don't be silly Fratello! That doesn't count!"_

"_Why?"_

" _Well for starters it was an accident and secondly you have to like the person for it to count, so it's a zero for both of us." L pulled away from her and began looking at the floor as he walked churning up the snow. "Hey __Testvér, what's up?" Red asked pulling at his sleeve._

_L stopped abruptly. L hated it, he hated being called brother, even when she tried to sugar coat it in different languages. L hated it more than he hated Yeux de Panda which was saying turned around and walked back to him. _

„_Frattel-"_

'_Stop calling me brother it annoys me." L sighed, 'I don't want to be your brother or anything else for that matter."_

_L didn't even see the punch coming untill it hit him squarely in the jaw. 'Te sanguinum idiota!" Tears were forming and dripping down Red's face, "quid te ita stultus?" She then ran back to the house. _

_0=0=0_

_For the first time since Red arrived at the house, L sat alone at his table. Before now he never really appreciated Red's company. She sat on the other side of the room with a brown haired girl -her roommate Margret- and a boy that looked so similar to himself –Beyond Birthday-. They were talking and L could hear Red lauhing at something Beyond said, this made his skin crawl even more than when he was called 'Frattello' Why was she laughing at him? Why was she even sitting with him? Everyone knew there was something wrong in that boy's head! Yet Red smiled and laughed at everything he said, until she looked up and saw L looking at her, when her smile turned to a scowl. L looked down at his cake quickly before he realized he wasn't hungry so he got to his feet and scraped it in the bin. Everyone stared except Red who took a bite of Black Forest gateau._

_=0=0=_

_She was ignoring him. It'd been a week since they argued and she still refused to acknowledge his existence and it was becoming unbearable. He hated to use an analogy like this but Red's company was like a narcotic once you start to have it every day it's unbearable when you stop. It wasn't only that, that worried L, he also believed he was catching something, and he swore that Red gave it to him because he only felt these peculiar symptoms around her: Increasing Heart rate, hot flushes and a loss of appetite. It was most perplexing so L decided to tell Watari that he had what suspected to be the influenza or something of the sort._

"_Watari."_

_Watari smiled until he saw downcast face of L, "Yes L? Is there anything wrong?"_

"_Yes I'm afraid I'm Ill."_

"_Ill?"_

"_Yes I've been experiencing peculiar symptoms of late."_

"_And they are?" _

_L recalled all the symptoms and when he first experienced them, His heart rate increasing when Red 'fell' on him in the snow (he decided to leave out the kiss part because that wouldn't be of any value), His hot flushes every time Red pushed pass or looked at him recently smile or scowl and his loss of appetite every time he saw her near beyond birthday. _

"_L may I ask why you experience the symptoms every time Red is near you?"_

"_She gave me the illness." Watari laughed for a genius L could be such and idiot. "Watari can you stop laughing and help me figure out what's wrong with me?"_

_Watari picked up a dictionary from a nearby book shelf, he flicked through and put his finger next to one definition, which L read aloud._

"_Affection: a feeling of fondness or tenderness for a person or thing; attachment" Watari did the same again, "Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person._

_a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. _

_Sexual passion or desire. a person toward whom love is felt." L just looked at Watari "this doesn't prove why I'm sick." L mumbled confused_

"_You aren't Ill."_

_L stopped and let what he read sink in, "No, I won't believe it. I'm sick."_

_Watari's office door swung open revealing Red, Beyond and a pale crying Margret. _

"_Watari, Maggie's cut off her finger!" Red shouted _

_Watari ran over to the ten year-old, "How did this happen?"_

"_Uh well she kind of slipped while I was tidying away my art stuff but I left the scalpel out and… and..."_

"_Her finger went bye-bye" Beyond finished pulling his hand from a jar of jam. _

"_L we'll continue this later" Watari picked up the girl and rushed out to the infirmary._

_Red just the saw L standing there. "Come on Beyond we're leaving," She said grabbing his jam free hand pulling him out of the room. Forget loss of appetite just then L felt like he was going to vomit. _

"_I'm not in love" L mumbled to himself walking towards his room, "I have affection towards her but only as a friend, that's it." L stopped abruptly when he looked out the window and saw Red hugging that Psycho. Right then L nearly bit through his own tongue. _

_He lay in his bed and that scene kept replaying in his head making him shudder , before he knew it, it was the o' clock and was interrupted from torturing himself by a quiet whimpering sound coming from the other side of the door. He pulled it open slowly showing red curled up in a ball with her pillow pulled into her chest. She often ended up here after she had a nightmare but she'd never hesitated to barge right in before. _

"_Panda?" She whispered. L pulled her up and she followed him into his room and climbed into his bed like always, since he never used it. "Hey Panda, come over here and sit down," L did as he was told and Red grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry Panda I was really mean to you, I should've realized the names annoyed you and so was punching you in the face."_

"_I'm sorry for hurting your feelings." L replied,_

"'_Tis ok Panda .Promise me that you'd never leave me alone and you'll always look after me right?"_

"_promise"_

"_thanks Panda."_

_L sat there until Red slipped into sleep. He tried to get up but he was pulled back down, that girl sure had a strong grip even when she was sleeping. L had no choice but to lie next to her, close his eyes and wait until she woke up. And that was one of the few nights L got a good night's sleep._

_When L opened his eyes a blush formed on his cheeks, somehow Red's head had ended up on his chest and her arms were wrapped around his neck. L tried to get out of this awkward position, but that only resulted in both of them falling out of bed._

"_Hey Panda what's with the ruckus some people are trying to sleep." Her eyes widened "Hey Panda why are you pinning me to the floor?"_

_L the realized he was doing just that and he got up quickly trying to hide his face that now matched the exact shade of the blood that was gushing from Maggie's severed finger._

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Really Panda?" Red grinned "Ok then seeya at breakfast, eat with me ok?"_

"_Sure," And with that everything returned to or seemed to return to normal. L fell back onto his bed, "Watari I hate it when you're right" _

=0=0=

L felt a hand on his shoulder and he know it was Watari.

'Ryuzaki you should come back,"

'y-yes I should continue work, I've already wasted alot of time." He said wiping his face with his sleeve before he got to his feet and turned to his Handler.

'L" Watari gasped when he saw his face.

'Call me Ryuzaki" L whispered

L, the worlds gratest detective was crying, his eyes were red rimmed and puffy while tears streamed down his cheeks. Watari needn't ask why, only an idiot would need to ask why. He pulled L into a hug, but he just started crying again. Watari almost found it amusing how he knew L from the age of eight and he hadn't cried once until he was twenty-four. But this slight amusment was quickly washed away by feelings of guilt, Watari wanted to tell him but he'd promised Red that she would be the one to reveal who she was if necasary.

"Ryuzaki please calm down."

"She hated me Watari, she hated me because I left her when I promised her I wouldn't" Watari hat never thought L could get in a state like this, "I promised I'd look after her and that meant every thing from people to nightmares and I just left and now she's dead and I'm to blame."

"L you aren't to blame for her death."

"So she just stopped talking and nearly committed suicide for no reason."

"L we all knew how emotionally unstable she was, it could have been anything that set her off,"

"Yes and it was me, I am the person who made her feel it was appropriate to set herself on fire!" L managed to say between sobs. Watari was beginning to get extremely worried L had begun shaking slightly and feared he was having a mental breakdown. Watari thanked the heavens the café was empty.

"Ryuzaki you have to calm down now, you aren't to blame"

"Even if that was true she still hated me, don't you remember what she said? She said if she was like me she'd shoot herself, I think that's one major indication and she called me an emotionless bastard, I think that's hatred Watari."

"L if you don't stop this nonsense now, you'll be bared from cake." L didn't stop.

"You were right Watari, I loved her and I didn't do anything about it." Watari was stunned he never expected L ever to admit to this not once. " Do you think it would have made a difference if I told her, I don't I was just her big brother."

L was silent for a long time apart from the crying of course.

"L please you have to stop."

"That day in the snow she kissed me," Watari looked shocked , "but it didn't count because I was just her frattello." L bit his lip and gradually stopped crying.

Watari pulled a tissue from his pocket and began wiping away the tears from the Raven's face.

=0=0=

L held the violin in his arms like a baby before he began playing. The melody was absolutely beautiful and he quietly sang along in memory of the only gitl he loved.

"I often close my eyes  
>And I can see you smile<br>You reach out for my hand  
>And I'm woken from my dream<br>Although your heart is mine  
>It's hollow inside<br>I never had your love  
>And I never will"<p>

**=0=0=**

**Awww so the tin man does have a heart. Sorry if it was slightly out of character but you'd be a little like that if something similar happened to you right.**

**No?**

**What's wrong with you people?**

**Sorry it sucked.**

**My advice: don't listen to sad violin music while picturing L cry. It'll ruin your evening.**

**I'll update soon! **

**The song is Kiss the rain**


	13. Red in wonderland part 1

**Random Filler chapter!**

**I got bored and I had cake and Time for Letter Maths!**

**B (Boredom) + C (cake) = I (Inspiration)**

**Enjoy**

0=0=0=0=0

**Red in wonderland Part 1**

Red excelled at many things and sleeping was one of them. Once she'd slept for three days straight, pretty impressive. Red rolled over and began to wonder why her bed was really hard, the night before it had been like sleeping on a cloud (not a real one or she'd fall through it) but now it was like stone. "A mystery indeed" Red mumbled opening her eyes and stretching out her arms. She received a shock when her eyes were open; Red was lying on the edge of a river bank. Remembering she still hadn't learnt how to swim, she rolled (sitting up would be too much work) in the opposite direction. "This is some messed up shit …" Red silently made the decision never to eat Chocolate Cheesecake before bed or, Key Lime Cheesecake or, Tiramisu cheesecake or, Black Forest Cheesecake, ok just no cheesecake of any kind before bed.

"Red stop rolling around you'll ruin your dress." Red sat up and looked towards the voice; she nearly burst out with laughter. The voice was roger's and he was wearing a Victorian style dress.

"What do you mean? I'm not wearing a- oh shit I am!" Red cursed when she realized she was too wearing a dress, it was blue. Blue for god's sake! It was her least favorite colour, someone was so out to get her right now. Just when she thought things couldn't get any more insane she watched Near run past in bunny ears.

"Oh dear, oh dear!" said the Rabbit Near thing. "I shall be too late!" Red frowned, that was oddly out of character for the albino maybe she'd misheard him.

"Hey Near!" Red yelled, "I didn't quite catch what you said!"

The Near/Rabbit stopped in his tracks. "Who is this Near you speak of? And don't make me repeat the same thing many times" After he finished speaking he started running again. Curious, Red followed the Not Near, eager to leave the sight of transvestite Roger behind her. Fortunately she was in time to see Near fall down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. Most people would be cautious of a large rabbit hole that you'd just seen a child fall into but to be honest Red was not that kind of person in the slightest. She got on to her hands and knees and peered down the hole. Squealing Red slipped forward into the hole. She slid down on her stomach for some way until the ground gave way from under her ad she found her self falling down a what seemed to be a well.

"Ok this is just getting bloody ridiculous."

"You said it."

"Matt?" Red's eyes widened as she saw Matt falling next to her.

Matt tapped her nose. "The Rabbit warned me there was a crazy girl chasing him; apparently you like to name us all weird little names."

Red crossed her arms "I'm not crazy and if you're not Matt who are you?"

"Are you retarded?" The not-Matt asked pointing to his hair. It was just then Red saw the cat ears.

"One. I'm not retarded. Two. Are you a cat of some kind?"

"Well done Genius, can you guess what kind of cat I am?"

"I'm not going to play twenty questions with you, so just cut the crap and tell me who you are and where I am!" Red bellowed.

"Is it that time of the month again?" Matt smiled.

"Piss off!" Growled Red reaching to slap Matt round the cheek but only succeeded in turning herself upside-down, causing the skirt of the dress to fall over her face.

"You make a better cat than me growling like that" Matt laughed. "Well almost maybe if you _smile_"

Red continued falling and thinking about what Cat Matt had said. _Smile and Cats, what is the connection? _Then it dawned on her. She pushed the skirt away from her face. "You're the Cheshire Cat, aren't you?"

"Congratulations you win the game."

"What game?"

"The game and you just lost."

"Damn that's just unfair!"

Red then crashed into a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. Matt was floating cross-legged about a foot off the ground laughing.

"Keep laughing cat and I'll wring your neck!"

"There you go with the growling again, if you continue like this I think I may have a partner in crime." Matt winked lifting Red's chin towards him.

"Matt stop touching my face." Red said trying to keep her voice level.

"Now do I need to tell you again I'm the Cheshire Cat but if you prefer to call me Matt, I'm sure I can live with it." Red punched Matt in the stomach.

"Stop being a freaking pervert!" She yelled storming down a random tunnel that was not there a few seconds before, leaving The Cheshire Matt writhing in pain.

She felt bad about punching Matt, especially since she knew he felt affection for her, you learn a lot when playing hide-and-seek when you hide in someone else's room.

After what seemed like an age she emerged from the tunnel into dense woodland, she continued walking and came across a clearing with a long table set for ten people and every place had a plate full of sugary delights. She sat in a chair hastily and examined the plate there were ten varieties of sweets:

Love Hearts - The making (or breaking) of many a childhood romance.

9 inch Apple Pencils

Toffee Bonbons

Flying Saucers

Chocolate Fudge

Chocolate hearts

Sherbet Lemons

Turkish Delight

Strawberry millions and

Blue jelly beans.

Not only was there an abundance of sweets there were three different cakes in the centre of this table: Banoffee pie, Battenberg cake and Génoise cake.

Red was about to reach for a slice of Banoffee pie when her hand was slapped away.

"Don't touch the fucking cake!" _For god's sake Mello's here too._

"So who are you the Mad hatter?" Red asked.

"What are you retarded? NO I'm the March Hare if you must know."

"You look cute as a bunny." Red Smiled,

"I'm Not a Rabbit, I'm a bloody Hare!"

"If you say so…" She Looked at Mello, "So why can't I have any cake?"

"No-ones allowed to eat until the Hatter gets back, retard."

"Hey I'm not a retard!" Red cried indignantly. "So how about the sweets?"

"No"

Red got out of her chair, "Look Rabbit"

"Hare" Mello corrected

"OK then 'Hare' I somehow ended up on a riverbank in this shitty dress, I followed Near or The white Rabbit down a hole then I was being flirted with/ harassed by the Cheshire cat so let me have some fucking sugar bitch!"

"You were being harassed by Chesh?" He asked eyes widening.

"Yeah I mean he was totally coming onto me but… Hey are you even listening? Stop daydreaming!" Red clicked her fingers. This was just getting ridiculous I mean he looked like he lov- no he didn't, he couldn't. She swore Mello was straight! Well she might as well bite the bullet and say it or in this case sing it . " March Hare and Cheshire sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G,"

Mello hit her, his cheeks burning crimson. "What the hell are you talking about? We're close but not that close"

"But you wish you were."

"Shut up you gay arse!"

"Hypocrite much?"

"Just go away!"

"Fine, I was about to leave anyway!" Red smiled, turning and walking away. "I'm going to find the Hatter and if I find your feline friend I'll put in a good word for you."

"I DON'T LOVE HIM!"

"I never said you did, Mells."

0=0=0=0

**End of Part 1 **

**Does it suck or what?**


	14. Red in Wonderland part 2

**I'm sorry it's been so long stuff has been happening and it's been crappy, I also wrote 5 different versions of this chapter before deciding on this one because apparently a Panda given a normal name and a drug addiction is 'epic'. **

…**.**

**Also for English I had to rewrite 'The speckled band'**

**I know the chapter's crap but meh…**

**Red in Wonderland Part 2**

On her extraordinary quest to find the Mad Hatter in order to eat the sugary bliss the March Hare held hostage, Red had found her way out of the forest she was in, onto a meadow. Of course during her epic adventure she'd picked up a traveling companion: A talking Scottish panda called Steve. To be honest Red didn't mind him tagging along as long as he stopped trying to sell her opium and some suspicious looking mushrooms.

Walking was tiring work apparently and Steve collapsed in the grass. Red just looked at him frowning.

"Steve." She said firmly "Get up or I'll take away the mushrooms."

"I'm tired" The panda whined

"Mushrooms"

"Fiiine"

The panda got to his feet and plodded along beside her making comments like 'Stupid' 'opium hater' 'tired' 'slave driver'.

Resisting the urge to beat said panda with a stick, Red began to realize the sheer impossibility of the task she'd set herself up with. She had no idea who the Mad Hatter was or where he/she had wandered off to. She might as well give up. But on the flipside of this the Mad Hatter must be someone she knew, and if she found him/her she could get some chloroform (That dodgy panda had to have some) and drag 'em back to the March Mello Hare and Bippity, Boppity, Boo,Izzy wizzy, let's get busy_,_ Sweets galore.

While pondering on the best course of action the growling crescendo of Red's stomach had gained enough volume to wake a comatose patient. She looked at area her stomach would be clothed in powder blue wrongness.

"Shut up will you" Red groaned.

"Hungry are you?" said a voice that did not sound like Steve's thick Scottish accent. Red turned to look at Steve.

"Hey did you hear tha-What in the name of Fēixíng lièwén dà xióngmāo is going on?" Red gasped clutching her chest watching the creepy Matt Cat materializing on the back of Steve.

"Miss me?" Mat grinned.

"Dear god leave me alone."

"Hey Chesh! What's up my brotha?" Steve began to talk.

"You know each other?" Red sighed. She should of guessed a pervert and drug dealer were in cohorts.

"Totally, Me a Chesh go way back!"

Matt smiled and pulled Red closer by the skirt of her dress. "So sweetie, you didn't answer my question."

"I don't do a lot of things." Red pulled away.

"But did you?"

Red ignored him and began to speed walk but damn that panda was fast.

"Here's a fun fact: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Matt winked jokingly. An annoyed Red just replied "and I would put F and U together, so piss of before I figure out where I can find a Rottweiler around here, you cosplaying twat." "Fine but a little birdie told me that you were looking for the Hatter." "You're point is?" Red snarled. "I know where he is." "I don't need any help." Red crossed her arms over her chest. "Whaaaaaaa-" Cheshire Matt grabbed here and pulled her onto Steve's back. "What's the big idea?" "You were going in the wrong direction." Steve grumbled, a poorly rolled cigarette hanging from his lip. "Okay I need help." Red admitted. …. After a painstakingly long journey on panda back Red fell to the ground exhausted from fending off Matt's romantic advances and Steve's drug offerings. She surveyed her surroundings from the ground which seemed to be black and white tiles (much like a chess board) the tree's formed a dome enclosing the tiled space and candles hung from the branches. In the centre of the 'room' a single table was set with a mismatched tea set and at it was perched a Raven haired man adorning a black top hat, jeans and a white long-sleeved t-shirt. "Panda?" Red gasped "What?" Steve looked at her. "Not you, Him." Red said pointing at the man at the table before running at him. "**Are you the Hatter?" Red asked trying to conceal the grin on her face. L looked really cool woth a top hat.** **The raven haired man just looked at her expressionless. " To whom may it concern?"** "**Me, Look you have have a tophat so if you're the hatter come with me so that March Hare can give me cake," No reaction, "Ok If you don't come with me I'll grab some chloroform and drag you back."** "**You have chloroform?" Matt asked.** "**No I thought you and your dodgy friend did." ** "**Well we don't."** **Red just turned back to the Hatter. "Ok scrach that but look I'm hungry."** The Hatter tilted his head and looked at her. "You remind me of her…" He mumbled, his thumb pressed against his lips. Red took the seat opposite him. "Who do I remind you of?" She asked, even though she already knew that it had to be her. "An old friend." At this Red neary cheered. If dream L liked her, real L must too! _Beep Beep Beep_ With the flawed logic in mind, Red jolted upwards her head smashing against the glass coffee table. She'd rolled off the sofa while sleeping. "Oh my fucking god!" She screamed clutching her now bleeding nose. As Red crawled towards the bathroom in search of tissue her phone began to play 'I can't decide' by the Scissor Sisters. Why in the name of God was someone calling her now?! Red forgot about the tissue quest and made her way to her phone. "Hello make this quick or I might die of blood loss." Red practically yelled down the phone. "What do you want?" said the person that called her. The voice was edited and scrambled but she knew who it belonged to. "Well mysterious voice man, it is customary for the person receiving the call to say that." Red laughed. But L only repeated himself. "What do you want?" "I have no idea what you're talking about and please hurry up; I don't want to die in a hotel." "Watari has informed me of the fact you are aware of my identity." "And who may you be?" Red asked thanking the heavens that her nose had stopped bleeding. ""Why don't you tell me?" L said simply. Red smiled, so that was how he was getting her into the taskforce headquarters, clever indeed Watari. "Fine, you are L. You are a detective, twenty-four years old. You're an orphan and at the age of eight until fifteen you lived at an orphanage called Wammy's house. You left however when you were fifteen, October 31st your birthday. Oh and your re-" "That's enough" he interrupted. "I hadn't finished." "Remain in the Hyde Park hotel until a car comes to collect you. It'll take you the airport, the driver already has your tickets and will accompany you on the flight. When youarrive in Japan Watari shall take you to The Kira investigation head quarters, and you'll remain there until you are no longer a threat." L explained "Sure whatever" Red shrugged then hung up. She then began filling her suitcase with the contents of her drawers. …. Fēixíng lièwén dà xióngmāo means 'flying crack pandas' according to my friend It sucks I'm sorry they will be better (I hope) I've just had a lot on my mind lately and I have my family coming to stay tomorrow so I may not be able to upload for a few days. 


End file.
